Recently, I have found myself thinking a lot about my family’s history. I would attribute this sudden pensiveness to a speech given by Dalel Serda at the Women and Gender Studies Symposium that was held on campus. Serda was the keynote speaker of the event; her speech was titled, “Embracing the Margin: Advantages of Being the ‘Other’.”
While Serda was giving her speech at the event, it felt more like a story, a story in which the audience was taken through the complicated yet fascinating history of Serda’s family. As she told the story of her relatives and ancestors, I found myself reflecting on the stories I have grown up hearing about my own family. However, at the same time, I was also slightly disappointed in how little I knew about my family history.
When I was younger, I spent a lot of time visiting with my grandparents. During these times, my grandparents would often tell stories from their life. As a child, I did not take full advantage of these moments and would just passively listen to them talk without ever asking questions or trying to learn more about their past. Now that I am older, this has slightly changed; however, if I am honest, I still never go too far out of my way to visit with my grandparents to hear their stories.
Although I have not spent as much time as I should absorbing my relatives’ stories, the ones I do know help me understand why my family members are who they are and how this has impacted my identity as well.
As the author of “This Book Will Save Your Life” A.M. Homes said in O Magazine, “Every family has a story that it tells itself, that it passes on to the children and grandchildren. The story grows over the years, mutates, some parts are sharpened, others dropped, and there is often debate about what really happened. But even with these different sides of the same story, there is still agreement that this is the family story. And in the absence of other narratives, it becomes the flagpole that the family hangs its identity from.”
For me, this family story was always about hardships. Sometimes these hardships were overcome and other times they were not, but in retrospect I see how the lessons learned from these hardships have passed down for generations.
But there is still so much for me to learn. I am who I am because of my family, so it is important for me to be aware of the history that has shaped my family. Also, I’ve come to realize that while I may have believed my family’s history was insignificant in my life, it is in fact the opposite.
One day, I want to be able to tell my family’s story as a way to inspire others but more importantly keep the memories of my relatives and ancestors alive, so they can continue to be passed down. For others, who also wish to know more about their family history, I encourage you to sit down with relatives and ask them about their lives, so you too can get a better understanding of your family’s story and how it has impacted your life.
