The way I grieve is none of your concern

I know that we all have different perspectives when it comes to certain situations that pop up in life. By no means am I judging anyone, especially when it comes to the healing process of losing a loved one. Some people are able to carry on and go a pretty good amount of time until they shed a tear here and there. 

But then there are some who for the first year experience a rollercoaster of emotions amongst other things. 

The healing process can be different for everyone, and as I said before, I am by no means judging anyone. 

But I will say that I am going to judge you if you have the guts to tell someone that they need to “get over it” or “move on.” 

Whether you have or haven’t experienced the loss of someone, especially someone close to you, it is common sense to know not to tell someone how to heal. 

Yes, there comes a point in time at which  the griever needs to know that they should start to heal because whether we like to hear it or not, that’s not what their loved ones would want. 

Yes, if you have experienced the same situation and you want to give the griever tips on what you went through during that time in order for them to be prepared, then by all means go ahead. Depending on the person, the process of healing can be difficult and like I said, it can be more difficult during the first year of it happening. 

Everyone handles trauma in different ways and no that does not mean you are stronger or weaker than others depending on how you process or heal. 

It means that you are human and that you are trying your best to deal with something that you have experienced, the best you can. Rather than telling someone how to heal or that they need to “get over it” or “move on,” try to be a support system for them. 

Let them know you are there for them, encourage them to do something small that might get them out of bed or out of the house, or even just listen to them when they need it. Healing is a process and there is no time estimate for it. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.