Review: I only have pies for you

McDonalds Apple Pies: I’m lovin’ it

I’m not the biggest fan of fast food in general. Eminently, I will do everything in my power to stay away from chains with unhealthy reputations. However, all my morals are disregarded and thrown out each night as the sun starts to set, the darkness slowly engulfs this small town’s sky and my sweet tooth craving kicks in.

McDonalds Apple Pies have been an American gem for more than 50 years since 1968 when the world’s most popular fast-food chain brought them onto their menu as their first official dessert.

Other dessert menu items come and go, but the popularity of the fresh baked apple pies is what makes them worth keeping on the blinding and illuminating drive-thru screen.

What makes this apple pie not only different, but 10 times better than those at other chains is that it is made with six different types of apples. With sliced Jonagold, Fuji, Golden Delicious, Gala, Rome and Ida Red apples, the McDonalds apple pie is guaranteed to leave your taste buds satisfied and mouthwatering, impatiently waiting for your next return to destination flavortown.

The biggest heartbreak, however, isn’t when the apple pie is long gone and devoured. The real pain is whenever the thought of just getting close to the magical deliciousness is struck down by the unfortunately all too familiar words, “I’m sorry. We’re all out at the moment.”

McDonalds, here I am, a loyal lover of the greatest dessert item of all time made by your company, and here you are, letting me down time after time, gradually crushing my hungry, inner spirit.

I don’t know how much longer I can take this heartache, but for those warm and savory bad boys, I’m embarrassingly willing to endure this pain for a lifetime.

Curse you McDonalds. Curse you and your irresistible apple pies.